***originally posted 6/11
Whether you are a single mom or a married mom with a great spouse; a mom of one or a mom of five…there comes a time in motherhood when all self-control goes out the window. You wonder how you are ever going to make it and where is God in the situation? Our emotions and feelings are quite strong and all sense of rationality has left. It is at these times that we have to lean on God to help guide us. Otherwise we allow the enemy to develop a stronghold in our life.
Whether you are a single mom or a married mom with a great spouse; a mom of one or a mom of five…there comes a time in motherhood when all self-control goes out the window. You wonder how you are ever going to make it and where is God in the situation? Our emotions and feelings are quite strong and all sense of rationality has left. It is at these times that we have to lean on God to help guide us. Otherwise we allow the enemy to develop a stronghold in our life.
“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” Proverbs 25:28
When a person is not in control of their emotional and physical state of mind, they are like a city that is left unguarded. The enemy is always waiting to attack and when you do not lean on God, the enemy has free reign over our lives and we lose control. When we lose control over self, it is the equivalent of taking your personal wall of protection away and allowing yourself to be pounced upon by others or situations. Practicing self-control in the midst of motherhood has to be among one of the greatest feats. Being able to hold on to patience in the middle of a temper tantrum that is being thrown in the middle of the grocery store aisle or trying to restrain from that scoop of tantalizing butter pecan ice cream when the weight you gained from the baby is still evident are situations where self-control comes into effect.
How does one gain self-control? Most would say by denying oneself and turning to God is the simplest answer; however, not real enough to apply to everyday situations. Self-control is something that is learned over time and turning to God is not always in the forefront of your thinking when in a highly agitated and emotional state. You have to be able to not punish yourself for a lack of self control and then be able to allow the negativity to pass and not act upon the negativity. Taking deep breaths is the most common piece of advice that I have given to myself and other mothers in stressful situations. Breathing deeply allows calmness to enter the brain and the mind. When you are stressed out because your little one only wants a specific color of cup or your teenager wants to go to a movie alone with no adult chaperone, the best way to limit your emotional outburst and exert self control is to take deep cleansing breaths, which will ultimately relax the body and the mind. Only in a calm state of mind can one possibly think rationally and exert self-control. Is this easy? No, if that were so, anyone could do it and personal restraint among temptations to lose your cool would be no longer.
When in the heat of the moment, in God's strength, wisdom will allow you to consider the future consequences of a lack of self control? Often we lose control because we fail to consider the consequences associated with the moment and we give in to the emotional self rather than leaning on God for strength and patience. So, when that two-year old is in a puddle of tears over a desired bag of Skittles, before losing your control, breath and lean on God. Sometimes it means losing a small battle in order to win the war. Put the Skittles on the conveyor belt!
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