Battling Guilt

The Battle: Guilt

The Enemy: Our Expectations

The Battlefield 

I have written this in my head multiple times over the last few weeks.

But I am finally putting letters to the thoughts…

Here’s to hoping I am not alone.

…

I quit!

I give up!

What was I thinking!?!

This was a crazy idea.

Who do I think I am that I could pull this off?

God, are you really in this?

I am too busy.

I have a full time job, 2 young kids that need my attention, a husband that needs my support, a house that needs care, and I thought I could add more?

I thought I could do it.

I thought I wouldn’t fail.

I thought it wouldn’t cause me stress.

But instead here I am.

Tired, worn out, wondering if it makes any kind of difference, wondering why I had this crazy idea? Wondering if I have to keep this up? Wondering if anyone will care if I throw in the towel?

The answer is “no” but the question is will I give myself permission?

I simply don’t have the energy to write one more post.

How can someone so driven, with so much desire, and with so much want give up now?
...

Because I need to.

Maybe I don’t need to give up but I do need to let go.

Let go of my own crazy expectations.

I need to fall in love again. I need to create balance. I need to prioritize. I need to live in reality.

I need to realize this madness I feel is self created.

And it has to stop.
...

And so today I claim it!

There WILL be balance and there will be understanding that I can’t do it all.

I will be okay, Cravings {The Journal} will survive and letting go of the guilt I feel for not being able to do it all will be FREEING!

Oh, so freeing!

…

The Battle Plan: What is your weight? What are you carrying on your back not because you have to but simply because you can’t let it go?

Lay it down. Open your hands and release. God will take it.

He will take it.