Dear Jealousy,

I guess it could have been worse. 

Dear Jealousy,

I feel as if I have known you since I was little. I can remember you as early as the age of five. I remember being jealous of cars, clothes, and nicer houses. As I got older the emotion stayed. I found myself jealous of cute noses, blond hair, skinny legs, non-strict parents, friends who had their own cars, and people who had cell phones in college. There were also times I found myself jealous of kids who had no conscience. I just wanted to be normal and not walk around college being called “Ned Flanders” from the Simpsons.

You, jealousy seem to be a constant in my life.

Here I sit 2 days away from turning 38 and I still find myself wrestling with you. I am jealous of moms who seem to parent better than I do, bloggers who have quick success, and groups of woman who have incredible ministries on a global scale.

Recently you have reared your ugly head about a specific group of woman bloggers and dreamers, many of whom I look forward to meeting at Relevant 2011. I watch their interactions, their stories, their opportunities, their tweets and I just want “in”.

I was telling my husband about this misplaced jealousy the other day and since he is never one to just let me sit in a “woe is me” place he simply said “STOP being jealous and put some action behind your desire.”

What? You mean I can’t just sit in my pity party?

As I sat there pondering his words I realized that at the heart of jealousy is fear.

I was jealous of cute noses because I feared no one would marry someone with a large honker.

I was jealous of cool clothes because I feared I wouldn’t fit in with my re-sale shop clothes.

AND

I am jealous of these woman because I fear I won’t see the kind of success modeled in them.

Fear drives my jealousy and fear drives me nuts. Not a fan!

I had the honor of hearing Chris Spradlin from Epic Parent speak this weekend and his topic was fear. He hit it out of the ballpark. You can listen here.

His opening scripture hit me smack between the eyes.

“ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self discipline.” 1 Timothy 1:7

While I am not a Bible scholar I feel I would be perfectly safe to also say God has not given us a spirit of jealousy.

My point being that God did not design us to live in a place of jealousy and I dare say He sees it as ugly.

Jealousy, you have no place in my life! Be gone!

With Joy, Carey

I don't have any quick fix to rid your life of jealousy and I would be faking it if I tried to guide you in this area. Here are a few things I have been trying when this stinky emotion hits!

1. Give thanks!

Take a time out in the midst of jealous moments to tell God thank you for ALL you do have. Remembering the large and small blessings can help pull you out of your pity party.  Giving thanks always brings me back to reality.

2. Trust God.

Trust that God knows you and knows what your heart can and can’t handle. He also knows what will create and shape character in us. Learn from other and trust in Him.

3. Pray.

Do you find yourself jealous because you see someone else running with the desire of your heart? Well as my hubby said STOP the jealousy and START the praying. Ask God to help you bring that calling, itch, craving to fruition and make it reality.

After you do all that then start back at number 1 again and never stop.